letter from May 30, 2011

Hey,
Man, I wish that I had your strength. I honestly dont know how you do it. I just feel so inadaquate some days but you have so much strength and courage. I hope that I can be half as strong of a parent as you when I get kids. I am sorry that California wasnt the funnest. If you ever take me, trust me, I will make it fun. Hahaha oh you can count on that. We could do Disneyland together. I will go on the Winney the Poo ride with you if you promise to hold my hand during the scary parts. Haha. Well at least ** is seeing that the people who she thought "loved her for who she was" isnt quite what she thought. I know that she will come back. Dont worry. It just takes time.
Lets just focus on the good. Number one, I got permission to write ***. WOOOO!!! Number two, we had a baptism last sat. There Were 6 people that got baptised. It was such a beautiful baptism. One of the boys was named ***. He is 17, I feel like he is my special project. Haha He used to smoke 2 pacs of cigarettes a day, but He gave it all up so that he could be baptised. I have just been reflecting on the gospel and seeing how it changes someone who is bound by an addiction like the ciggarettes and changes him into someone that is going around with the missionaries to help them teach before they are even baptised. I was wondering what it is that makes that change. Then I saw in Mosiah 5 verse 2. The spirit. That is what brings that change of heart. We are being changed by the Lord and by his hand. That is what brings us closer to him. We need to be transformed by his hand. That is what this life is for.
One thing that touched me the other day, I was reading in Jesus the Christ about the ressurection. It talked about when Mary discovered that the Savior wasnt there. She sat and she wept. It was very touching to read about her love for the savior. He was then taken from her and killed. Well the one thing that she had left to remember him by was his body, but then that too was taken from her, and she sat there staring into an empty tomb. Angels came and asked her, Why seek the living among the dead. He is not here. It made me think of the picture that I gave you almost a year and a half ago. Even with angels there she was distraught because her whole life was falling apart. It made me think of you. All the things that are happening in your life. You might feel like Mary; Like everything is gone. But there came a man who asked, Why weepest thou? She then precedes to ask where his body is, but then he says something that is the most touching. He calls her by name. The saviour loves you. You are not alone. He is not gone, but the master is still there. Even if you feel that your life is falling apart, but it is not all lost. Through the Saviour we will all find Salvation. We will recieve repentence. I know this to be true. So now that you look up at that picture on the wall maybe it can take on a new meaning for you. Instead of thinking of me, maybe you can see the joy that comes from the ressurection. And know that *** will be ok.
So this week I went to a leadership training and we watched a video from Jefferey R Holland. I loved it. He was addressing the fact that so many missionaries were going home and going inactive. He said that something is wrong with that. He then told of the last chapter in the book of John. Where Peter had gone back to fishing. He didnt know what else to do, so he went to what he did before he met Christ. That was fishing. Well when the saviour came he asked. Do you love me? He asked it three times. Each time Peter said yes but the savior said. Feed my sheep. If we love the savior then we need to show it. He did not say follow me for just two years when he said follow me he meant follow me forever. It really opened my eyes. My mission is not for two years it is forever. I cannot go back to a life I lived before, but I need to follow him. I cannot go back to old cds or old habits, but continue to grow. The mission is just the start of my life in the gospel. I am excited to see what the future holds for me.
Well I love you,
Elder Madsen